Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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