You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
