Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
