The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
