There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize