So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
