Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
