Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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