We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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