in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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