Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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