i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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