i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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