it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
