apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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