Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
