i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
