Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is the high leading the old right now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
