I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize