I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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