WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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