Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

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  (204): Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding. http://tfl.nu/e8lb
  Replies (19) Good night (1152) Bad night (5989)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....

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  (201): Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me".... http://tfl.nu/dlub
  Replies (22) Good night (6672) Bad night (1033)
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  (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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  (212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd
  Replies (48) Good night (20985) Bad night (2473)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme

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  (647): btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme http://tfl.nu/51hh
  Replies (10) Good night (4029) Bad night (973)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.

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  (913): The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight. http://tfl.nu/vdus
  Replies (1) Good night (1160) Bad night (2238)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.

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  (952): i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware. http://tfl.nu/z086
  Replies (4) Good night (2782) Bad night (1814)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6861) Bad night (1074)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".

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  (253): He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation". http://tfl.nu/2gnt
  Replies (12) Good night (951) Bad night (3085)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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  (412): we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better. http://tfl.nu/vdj0
  Replies (8) Good night (2494) Bad night (874)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.

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  (620): He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me. http://tfl.nu/rk0r
  Replies (7) Good night (1858) Bad night (589)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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  (812): after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married.. http://tfl.nu/qc9h
  Replies (15) Good night (867) Bad night (2457)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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  (905): You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot" (1-905): He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka. http://tfl.nu/0kc2
  Replies (4) Good night (1269) Bad night (995)
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  (925): View more from California

  I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.

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  (925): I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time. http://tfl.nu/6mzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (391)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud

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  (262): Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud http://tfl.nu/uu9v
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (229)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"

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  (306): I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?" http://tfl.nu/60qj
  Replies (1) Good night (125) Bad night (50)

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