i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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