Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/zxqx
  Replies (39) Good night (2296) Bad night (3078)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's a dina-saur

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct (973): that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand (201): she's a dina-saur http://tfl.nu/b0aw
  Replies (32) Good night (5361) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing. http://tfl.nu/eukd
  Replies (36) Good night (1290) Bad night (3383)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall http://tfl.nu/7d2k
  Replies (18) Good night (1691) Bad night (4200)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing.. http://tfl.nu/jqwx
  Replies (35) Good night (14455) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out. http://tfl.nu/nryy
  Replies (12) Good night (2523) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We welcome drunken adversity.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  With open legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): We welcome drunken adversity. (1-724): With open legs. http://tfl.nu/iqs6
  Replies (12) Good night (3432) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (1944) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit. http://tfl.nu/5rch
  Replies (17) Good night (949) Bad night (3193)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc
  Replies (9) Good night (3805) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there. http://tfl.nu/zi0e
  Replies (11) Good night (1977) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time

  (830): View more from Texas

  well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time (830): well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from http://tfl.nu/l1gr
  Replies (8) Good night (1250) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance. http://tfl.nu/4mcu
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid http://tfl.nu/4631
  Replies (3) Good night (175) Bad night (579)

Randomize