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• (914): View more from New York

  Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (760): View more from California

  This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.

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