Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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(519): View more from Ontario

You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

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(678): View more from Georgia

I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

It'll be just me and my penis against the world.

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(360): View more from Washington

Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

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(248): View more from Michigan

thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.

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