it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
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I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.