the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
