my vag is so smooth its legendary
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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