I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
