My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
