he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
