There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
