I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
