Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
