things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
