Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
