Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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