I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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