I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
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benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday