Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His hands were made for my vagina.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
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I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.