We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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