But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
