hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I believe in your delicious
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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