you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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