Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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