i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
