Tell her she can't have a vagina
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
