i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
