ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now