ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..