Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.