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We won't sleep together?
We named our party play list daddy issues
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
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