Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
