its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
