I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
