Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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