Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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