I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
