I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
