i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
