and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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