doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
