college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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