I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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