I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
