i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do vagina's smell?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
