I didn't shave. On purpose
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
