just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You are a genius and a whore.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
