Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
And then he peed in my hair
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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