Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
