this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
