Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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